On Thanksgiving I was with a bunch of my closest friends and we did that thing where everybody goes around and says what they’re grateful for. I thought about it as my turn approached and took a general accounting of my life. A few years ago, that mental “are my bases covered?” question would usually look like a rundown of a checklist including certain account balances, whether my car was clean, oil change recently done?, basically a bunch of regular, practical life concerns.… read more
When I lived in Boulder I joined the local PUA MeetUp group just to see what was shaking. It turned out not much and soon the organizer of the MeetUp abandoned it. I bought his MeetUp out for like $20 and started sending invitations to TurnON. Nobody ever showed up. Except one day this good looking, affable guy in his 20s walked in and introduced himself as the former organizer of the MeetUp.… read more
As a child, I heard a parable at Tassajara that has stuck with me.
A revered Abbot of a monastery in ancient China had a million students. People came from hundreds of miles to hear his dharma talks.
One season, his son was struck down by disease and eventually died.
On the eve of his son’s death the abbot was beside himself with grief.… read more
As I’m opening to let something old drop away, or letting something new come in I remember that allowing myself to move with it and allowing it to move through me is where my power lies. Not in gripping or in conditions imposed (which will soon be dust anyways) but in opening just a little bit more and finding the new definition of freedom.… read more
I knew it was coming but I hadn’t cried yet. My grandmother had died a couple days beforehand. I felt sad, but my heart was taking its own time. I was sitting with some friends and by chance we had ordered Jewish food to go including matzo ball soup. My grandmother was a consummate chef and Jewish cultural food polymath.… read more
A quick post I have to type out – We talk a lot in this work about the benefits of turning women on vs fixing (healing, reforming, the list goes on) them. Fixing being a derivative of the pervasive, disempowering broken-wing bird –> white knight complex I have found myself ensnared in a few times in my life. Learning how to turn women on has a distinctly different flavor than fixing though both can create resentment.… read more
Links are in bold.
It was the end of the night. I was sitting in my back row seat at TurnOn San Francisco. 50 courageous people had just played three intimacy games and the room was quietly buzzing as the very last person said the very last thing of the very last game of the night, which is ironically known as “Intimacies”.… read more
So I have a female house guest this week. First off, I should say this is no ordinary female house guest. This is a hot, smart, Turned-On Woman with big brown bedroom eyes and boundless energy. She is the kind of woman most of me would do almost anything to please, for whom in my previous lives I would put my own needs and petty preferences away in order to win her favor and have things “go smoothly”.… read more
OK so before I start, I have an admission: I have the desire to engage with this conversation, and while I have the capacity to think critically, I have no formal training in feminist thought. I have a slight fear of missing something important and running afoul of the brilliant, powerful women I’m about to comment on. In spite of that, I forge on:
As I scanned my morning Facebook feed this morning, another phenomenal article with an angle on women’s sexuality caught my eye.… read more
Originally featured on OneTaste.us
There is a woman I have seen a few times around town. We have said hello maybe twice. Almost a month apart. The first time was done awkwardly in a group. But I could still feel it. It’s that same slightly giddy feeling I have in an OM that tells me to stroke lighter. The second time was quick, and if all my attention had not been on her, I might have missed the way she used hers.… read more